My mother likes my girlfriend more than she likes me

When I was about twenty I cut off most of my luscious, Kurt Cobain style locks. I ended up with a "number one" around the back and sides and a kind of topknot on top. My mother was mortified. She claimed I looked like a thug. She even came out with the immortal line that she didn't know me anymore.

I was twenty one when I got my first tattoo. Judging by the overreaction to the haircut, I knew it wasn't a good idea to allow my mother to see it.

Around two or three years later I got another. Then while at a festival (yes I used to be quite wild and crazy, you know) I decided to get my ear pierced. When I saw my mother's reaction to that - "that's so unhygenic, you'll get hepatitis, or trench ear or something" - I knew more than ever that I'd be keeping my tattoos under wraps for a while.

This was successful for a couple of years until, on a kind of forced holiday to Vegas with them (my brother was - classily - getting married there) she spotted me sunbathing. Her reaction wasn't one of those over-the-top, blow-outs. Thats not her style. It was disappointment. She actually said that I was an idiot.

Skip to last week.

W2b and I had decided to get matching tattoos around two months ago. Nice star sign ones on our forearms. It was either that or have each other's names on our biceps.

When my parents came over to visit there was no way we were gonna keep our arms covered. It was obvious that they'd seen them (they're difficult to miss), so eventually on the Saturday afternoon we decided to ask their opinion on them. My mother's reaction, directed straight at w2b was along the lines of:

"I like them."
"If I'd been born today I think I'd have had piercings in my ears and probably one in my nose."
"I don't think I'd have a tattoo though - I think that would be too painful."

Now I know people mellow with age. But this is just bull-doo-doo.

She is soooo the blue eyed girl. I thought daughter-in-laws were supposed to be desperate to impress their partner's mother. Not with these two, its completely the other way round. W2b just can't put a foot wrong. T'aint fair, I tell you.

Can't blame my mother though. Shows that good taste is hereditary.