Bit of backstory (2) - And the diagnosis is...

Another uneventful day, so on with the story.

Now, where was I? Oh, yes waiting for an appointment at the hospital.

** Disclaimer - I'm going to be putting some medical info in here. I am in no way a medical expert, so please be aware that what is related below are just my experiences and my understanding of the facts. If you have any of the symptoms, are undergoing any of the tests or have been diagnosed with any of the things shown below don't just take what I say as fact. There are many, many people who know a lot more about these things than I do **

While I waited for an appointment my doctor booked me in for some blood tests. These were taken without any problems - luckily I have no problems with needles at all - and I waited for the results from those too.

The results of the blood test came back. My ESR levels were very high. No idea what that means? Me neither. Luckily one of my best friends at the time was a pharmacist. So I dug out her little medical book and found that it was an indicator of inflammation. Judging by the level they had read out to me, quite severe inflammation.

So I looked up, in the same handy-dandy little medical book, what sore guts and high inflammation usually indicated. It came back with two culprits:

Ulcerative Colitis
Crohn's Disease

Both were Inflammatory Bowel Diseases, whose symptoms were blood in the stool, loss of weight, abdominal pain, diarrhea (do you realize how hard that word is to spell - you'd think I'd know how to by now), vomiting, etc. In other words - what I had.

From what I could see, UC was the milder of the two. In a way though it was equally severe as while the symptoms were locallised to just the colon, the pain was no less and the chances of requiring surgery were roughly the same. Plus, the surgery that was referred to looked very, very scary.

CD was rarer and described as being the more severe. However, the surgical options seemed a little more open - with a few different things that could be tried in addition to what could be done for UC.

So armed with these pretty scary insights into what I might have, I awaited my appointment with the consultant.

The letter arrived and I went along for my consultation. I'd not been to the hospital a lot up till then, so even the act of going there was all a bit new for me. I checked in with the receptionist and sat nervously in the waiting room to be called in. Then my name was called and I had my consultation with the disturbingly burly consultant. He began with a rectal examination [1].

After the examination, he said that he would book me in for more tests in the coming week. He wasn't prepared to give me any kind of diagnosis until the results of those came back.

The tests consisted of a barium meal and follow-through [2] and a flexible sigmoidoscopy [3] under anaesthetic. Both of these would require my taking bowel-prep beforehand [4].

So I had my tests and went back to see the consultant. He was now certain enough to give me a diagnosis. I had Crohn's Disease.

Surprisingly, my first reaction was relief. I was relieved that I had something tangible to attribute all my symptoms to. I was relieved that I had something that, although not curable was at least treatable. I was also relieved that I didn't have UC as I didn't much look forward to the surgery that seemed the final option for that disease.

So I was put on steroids (prednisolone) and told to come back in a couple of months but to see my GP if I got worse.

[1] A rectal examination is usually carried out by the doctor either using his finger or with an instrument similar to that used to look into your ears, except longer. This instrument is called a rigid sigmoidoscope (I think). The examination was carried out with me laying on my side with my knees tucked under my chin. My trousers were (obviously) down and around my ankles. I was told to relax (yeah, right) and breathe steadily. Then the doctor lubed up the scope and what felt like a traffic bollard was inserted into my backside. I politely told him that it was quite uncomfortable and I'd prefer it if he removed it. He said that he'd just be a little longer. I told him that, no I'd rather he removed it now and emphasised this with a kind of groaning yell similar to the noise you use when you stand on an electrical plug in your bare feet. He then obliged and informed me that my anus was quite tender (no shit) and that he wouldn't be able to see much without an anaesthetic. I whimpered.

[2] A barium meal and follow-through is perhaps the least unpleasant medical test I've ever had to undergo. It consists of drinking a thick, gloopy liquid which is presented to you in quite a cunning way. First the nurse/radiographer gives you a small cup, half filled with the barium drink. You drink that with no real problems, although you might note to yourself that its quite tasteless and similar to plaster of paris. Then the nurse/radiographer whips out a massive container of the stuff, hands it to you and says that you are to finish it off and that they will be back shortly. After forcing the stuff down you then wander around the radiography department standing in various different poses and having your x-ray taken. If you're lucky, you even get to see a few which I find quite entertaining (although I have developed an unhealthy obsession with bodily functions, so maybe its just me).

[3] A flexible sigmoidoscopy requires you to be put under anaesthetic while they stick a camera up your backside and have a root around your colon. Its not unpleasant at all, especially if you don't mind being anaesthetised as I do. The embarrassment is lessened by the fact that you're under, although I made up for this by making sure my first words when I came round were "Where's the lovely anaesthetist gone?". The only side effects are a whole world of gas that requires you to deflate your belly a little like an air bed.

[4] Bowel-prep is the mother of all laxatives. There are a couple of different kinds but they all taste foul. They require you create a solution from some powder and then ensure that it is all drunk. You then have to drink lots and lots of fluids, both to aid the osmotic process of the prep and to prevent you becoming dehydrated. All bowel-preps have the same explosive results. They don't so much force you to empty the contents of your bowel as create a kind of vortex around your backside that tries its hardest to turn you inside out. The only instructions required for the packets are: Stay close to a toilet - at most a few millimeters. Don't make any plans for the next day or so.