Very worried about little Wilson. At the vets' on IVs and waiting to see whether he'll need risky surgery.

Didn't get to see Panorama last night. Too busy playing GT5.

If I were a paedo, a great way to attract kids to my profile would be to change my pic to one of a cartoon character. Just saying...

Fank you Stacey. You've been ace #imaceleb

C'mon Stacey, you lovely Jar-Jar Binks lookalike, you. And Shaun, you're still a legend #imaceleb

Football Association accused of being corrupt gangsters awards World Cup to Country accused of being corrupt gangsters. Who'd a thunkit?

Feeling quite Christmassy. Not like me at all. Bah humbug and all that.

Mon the Biff. Stunning. #biffyclyro

Reckon Obama should respond to the wikileaks revelation with Gary's speech for Team America - D*cks, P*ssies and *ssholes.

"I don't want Britt to go." = "I wanted Gillian to go." #imaceleb

They should get them to put Iceland food in their mouths without throwing up. There's a challenge. #imaceleb

Nice one kayla. Too. many. jokes. #imaceleb

Team America. Perfect Sunday evening viewing after a tiring Saturday.

Ryder going raging bull all over a snake's ass. Hard b*stard #imacelebrity

Watching last night's #imacelebrity - how ace is Stacey?

Didn't even realise aggro was still in. Who voted for him? #imacelebrity

How ace is Stacey? Air of dimness, but with impeccable logic #imacelebrity

Gillian's not even vaguely funny any more. Just f*cking annoying. #imacelebrity

We're off to see The Decemberists in March. Big YAY!!!

Shaun Ryder, you absolute legend! #teamryder

Just set up my universal profile on About.Me. Here I am: http://ping.fm/9Ygki One day I might even update it.

More torture for Gillian McKieth, please. Evil little midget.

Not exactly brand new, but I have to say that I absolutely love Jonsi - Go. Beautifully happy.

Just finished Return of the Jedi w the kids. That's all SW saga done 4 1st time. Nath turned to me and asked if we can watch them all again.

Loving "the trip". Self indulgent, but genius.

Thanks to @villagepig for finally curing my post-bug lack of appetite. Sunday dinner was spectacularly good.

Inception was incredible. Potentially silly idea done absolutely brilliantly.

We're both missing the kids a lot. Life without them is very easy, but very empty too.

Loved In The Loop. F**c**ting brilliant.

Dare I say it - New Vegas night well be better than Fallout 3.

My kids are painfully literal. Makes watching Jeremy Clarkson an exhausting experience.

Damn you, angry birds.

Oh dear. Eldest child has scarlet fever. Deeper joy.

Off to food and drink festival today. Nom is the word.

Really loved "Moon". Lovely, intelligent sci-fi.

Been around for years. Ships of the desert. Looks like we got the titanic.

For Liam Tancock, the choice of sport was pretty inevitable.

Joy. On child watching duty thanks to encounter between Tommy and wall. Tommy appears to have golf ball on forehead. Not sure how wall is.

To paraphrase Carl Sagan: "In the vastness of space and the immensity of time, it is my joy to share
a planet and an epoch with Amy"

Watched Shrek Forever After with the family. Cried. Daren't think what would happen if I watched Toy Story 3.

Replacement iPod exhibiting same problem as original. What to do, eh?

Still can't shake this fsckin' cough. Really starting to pee me off now.

Kids seem very happy in the new school so far. And by uncle john looking after them this week.

Spent the night with Wilson. Very affectionate, but so demanding.

In my head, when I picture Silent Bob I see Bill Bailey.

Today's gonna be tough.

We're either like a third world country or one where atheism is growing. We can't be both.

Xbox and ipod both go pop on the same day. Not happy :(

At what point - as a parent - do you end the weekend _less_ tired than when you started it?

Just cooked ouef avec frites a la blumenthal. Best chips ever, can recommend the recipe.

There are few things as entertaining as House talking to Wilson.

There's no feeling quite like your kids wolfing down what you've just cooked for them - even if it's just egg and chips.

When on holiday (esp. camping) with small kids do u: (a) stick 2 their bedtimes (b) loosen bedtimes a little or (c) let them stay up 2 9/10?

Back after a slightly shortened holiday thanks to geordie knobheads. Still had a nice time, but knackered from mammoth drive.

Finally getting around to reading "bad science" (much later than I should have). All I can say is, wow! Should on the national curriculum.

Happy holibobs everyone!

I still giggle when people say "a rissole". There, I said it.

Listening to The Maiden. Grin inducing.

Very cool show. Nice when tv is done with such enthusiasm. #sherlock

You could tell Hayward was gonna go. He already looks like he's played by Michael Sheen.

It's a good job they don't name whirlwinds, or jimmy white would be sh!tting himself right now.

The poo lady has really shot herself in the foot. @gillianmckeith (not Dr) #youarewhatyoutweet

*bugger* just swallowed the stone out of a plum. Not a good idea for someone like me :(

Right result in the end. As much as I like #ned, #esp were much better and only spoiling prevented them scoring earlier. #worldcup

Would love #ned to win, but #esp look really strong. Who knows in this #worldcup ?

I'd pay good money for Special Agent Oso to die in a horrific jet pack "accident".

Annoyed by the news. Time for United States of Tara.

Journalists interviewing journalists. This feels like Chris Morris.

Shame. First #ger side that i've ever liked. Come on #ned in the final. #worldcup

My God. I'm willing #ger on. What's going on? #worldcup

This could be good. First proper test for #ger. #esp playing a team that can tackle well and can hit hard on the break. Rubs hands #worldcup

Danni Minogue has named her son Ethan Edward Smith. How refreshing (I assume the father is called Smith, otherwise she's gone too far)

Switched the light off at half past ten last night. Why do I feel like sh1t?

Shocking refereeing at the end. How much added time was he adding. Arse #ned #worldcup

Cool. Dream #ned #ger final, hopefully. #worldcup

Looked offside to me, but when it's 50/50 i'd rather it went in the striker's favour. Consistency would be nice. #ned #worldcup

And another beauty! #uru #worldcup

Fantastic goal! #ned #worldcup

Ignore my previous update. It was utter bollocks. I blame @bengoldacre

Today is the day that Marty McFly travelled to when he went 25 years into the future. HT @bengoldacre (@tommcfly)

Can't picture anything but a #ned #ger final. But then I thought #bra would lift the trophy and #eng would get to the semis. #worldcup

Ok, this is just mental now. #worldcup

And the pendulum swings. #worldcup

Pen for #par. Tasty. #worldcup

Still waiting for #spn to start. #par are bossing it at the moment. #worldcup

Exhausted. Three good but very energetic kids. Mummy and Daddy time now.

Absolutely awesome display from #ger. Every position on the pitch tackling, running and passing brilliantly. #ned vs #ger final? #worldcup

#ger are playing brilliantly. Showing everyone how football should be played. #worldcup

Good on ya #ger. Just as #arg were looking really threatening. #worldcup

Glad I'm not a #ger fan. This is getting very tense. #worldcup

There appears to be a waxwork Charlize Theron in the crowd. #worldcup

#arg starting to build here. #worldcup

#ger are well on top here. Could be a corker. #worldcup

Tell you what @profbriancox has aged. #ger #worldcup

Goal for #ger. #arg defense deserve that for their dodgy hair. #worldcup

#arg vs #ger. Tough choice. No idea who i'd like to win. #worldcup

iPhone problem a display issue, not a hardware one. It's not broken, it just looks broken. *cough* bollocks.

Torn. Would like Netherlands to win, but have money riding on Brazil. #worldcup

Nice Outnumbered episode in our house earlier as cat brought in a bird and it flew around us while we ate dinner. Kids loved it.

Hurricane Alex? Didn't he play snooker?