Starting to sink in

The shock of two little miracles coming along is slowly starting to sink in. So before this blog turns into an endless series of posts about how our lives are about to change in a massive way, I'll try and make some headway on getting you updated on the wedding.

** Warning - contains actual pictures of myself and the pig (it's difficult to share your wedding pictures with the world without including ones with your face in) **

Part 1 - The Wedding (Reception)

So where were we? Ah, yes we got married.

The ceremony was lovely except for the frankly not brief enough Celine Dion musical interlude.

Following the ceremony there was the obligatory meet and great with everyone who had come along. This was accompanied by obligatory "compliments" on our music selection.

At least it cut through the emotion and returned things to what we had originally intended - fun.

What seemed like about three hours later - after photograph upon photograph - Pig and I surgically removed our lips from our teeth (who would have thought smiling for so long could become so uncomfortable?) and headed along for the reception. Now the fun could begin.

We ate. We drank. Finally it was time for the speeches.

My best man took the mic and nervously began. He was wonderful. Throughout the ceremony I had managed not to cry. But his speech was so complimentary to the Pig and I and so warm and unabashedly heartfelt that I couldn't help getting choked.

Then it was my turn. As is my way I just made it up as I went along. I think it went ok. It brought out some more tears in the Pig, so it can't have been too bad.

The Pig followed me and had her say in her usual style. You see - I'm the soppy one, she's the funny one. So guests were admonished for still wearing their ties in spite of our instructions. Female guests were told to remove their stockings. People were basically reminded that this was our wedding, so that meant no formality and everyone would enjoy themselves Goddamnit!

Then we could relax and enjoy ourselves as much as the guests were.

In a lot of ways, a South African wedding reception is very similar to a British one. Or should I say, very similar to Peter Kaye's description of a British one. All the classics were there: Jive Bunny, Greece Megamix. Plus a few new ones - including the rather bizarre Afrikaans tradition of the Sakkie (look it up). The only difference is that there's less self-consciousness and more wild abandon. Which isn't a bad thing at all.

I even managed to drink all day and indulge in shooters with our American friends who came over.

/ As an aside, one side effect of the ileostomy that I discovered while in SA is that drinking is a pretty pointless exercise. If you're lucky you get drunk for around fifteen minutes. Then you have about fourteen hours of being dehydrated. It makes for an appearance of having a manly tolerance for alcohol, but soon becomes very boring and you reach for a fruit juice.

So we mingled and we danced and we sat and we started to feel the excursions and emotions of the day catch up with us.

We headed off to our suite to spend our first night together as a married couple...

Which largely consisted of opening our cards and presents and then collapsing exhausted into the rather massive bed. After all, we had a big day ahead the next day as we'd be heading off for our Safari...

(See how I whetted your appetite there?)

Part 2 - The Present (How the hell are we gonna cope?)

So this twin business is starting to catch up with us. The endless platitudes and hollow comments are all well and good ("You don't do anything by halves, do you?" (just realised that was a comment Zinnia made, sorry darlin'), "What are the chances of that, eh?", "Well done (to me, like it was all thanks to me)!", "Do you have twins in the family", "That'll be a lot of work"), but you just get the feeling that no-one has grasped that this is a BIG FUCKING DEAL!.

Things are already tough for the pig. She's really knackered. Yesterday we had to go down to London for a meeting. Leaping out of bed at six, a looong train journey, a long interminable meeting where she had to maintain a cheery client face, another looong train journey and then a slump onto the sofa is not an ideal day for any pregnant woman, let alone one who has just found out she's carrying twins.

So we're still reeling. The only things that are helping me maintain my sanity are the thoughts of the two beautiful children we're going to have (if they take after their mother) and my absolute faith in the resources of my wife. If only she'd allow herself not to be super-pregnant woman every once in a while.

By the way (and continuing the "my wife is wonderful" theme) if any of you are considering berating me for referring to the pig as the pig, just take a look at the picture above and you'll realise that it's said with a massive amount of irony.

Oh, and before I go - hello to those of you in Australia (you know who you are).