Your questions answered

Over the last couple of days, I've been answering more than my usual share of questions about my ileostomy. These have been from various sources (National Statistics, my osteopath and a friend I've met via w2b). So I guess it's worth sharing (some of these I've come up with myself as they are the kind of questions I might have asked myself)...

• Q. Does the ileostomy hamper your work in any way?
• A. Not in the slightest. It may affect the kind of work I could do (Nothing that requires me to dip in and out of water all day, to lie prone on my belly or rough physical contact - professional mud wrestler would be out then), but doesn't affect my current job.

• Q. Do you require any long term medication?
• A. The only medication I take on any kind of regular basis is Zoton which is used purely to keep my acid levels down.

• Q. Where is the stoma?
• A. It's lower than my navel (about an inch lower) and to the right by just over an inch.

• Q. What does it look like?
• A. Its around 25mm in diameter and just over an inch in length (do you like the seamless switch between metric and imperial - didn't know I was bi-lingual did you?). It's about the same colour as the inside of your mouth. It's shiny. The opening is quite small but can stretch - varying between about 5mm and well over 10mm.

• Q. How is the bag stuck on?
• A. It's stuck to my belly with a stronger version of the adhesive they use on plasters. Luckily I get supplied with a spray that allows you to remove the bag without too much pain - unless I forget to shave.

• Q. How often do you have to change the bag?
• A. Roughly every three days. I can tell when I'm pushing it as it starts to get itchy. This is due to the waste starting to eat away at the glue and getting underneath.

• Q. Does everything go into it (meaning farts)?
• A. Yes. Wind is actually the biggest reason for having to empty it. Especially at night. But w2b isn't complaining. Rather that than have me farting in bed. Best not to have an en-suite bathroom though.

• Q. How often do you have to empty it?
• A. Depends. I can't go more than about six hours usually. It all depends on when I eat, what I eat, what I've drank, how hydrated I am... all sorts really.

• Q. It must make public toilets a more pleasant experience, not having to sit down?
• A. Yes and no. I don't have to sit, granted. I do however have to kneel down, which can be unpleasant - light trousers can be a no-no. I'm also a bit closer to the business end of things.

• Q. Is the other plumbing alright?
• A. Yep. No problems there. There can be occasions of impotence with some people, but I've been thankfully spared. I do sometimes get unbearable urges to repeatedly go for a wee, but I think this might be a bit more to do with dehydration. Plus, I still need to build up the muscles around there a bit as they were pretty massacred by the surgery.

Phew! I think that will do for now. If anyone has any further questions please post them as comments. I know I would have loads - whether I was facing the surgery myself or if I had just been introduced to someone who'd had it.

Brief round-up of other stories in our area:

• W2b is back, but doesn't seem to be with child at the moment. So yay and boo.
• The book on Humanist Weddings arrived in the post and it's ace. I'm more and more sure that I could legitimately class myself as a Humanist. Thankyou Zinnia, it's exactly what we were looking for.
• We got the phone lines fixed and have now had Sky installed. Woo-hoo!

Bye for now - remember, post the comments. You know how much I love talking about myself.