There are few things as entertaining as House talking to Wilson.

There's no feeling quite like your kids wolfing down what you've just cooked for them - even if it's just egg and chips.

When on holiday (esp. camping) with small kids do u: (a) stick 2 their bedtimes (b) loosen bedtimes a little or (c) let them stay up 2 9/10?

Back after a slightly shortened holiday thanks to geordie knobheads. Still had a nice time, but knackered from mammoth drive.

Finally getting around to reading "bad science" (much later than I should have). All I can say is, wow! Should on the national curriculum.

Happy holibobs everyone!

I still giggle when people say "a rissole". There, I said it.

Listening to The Maiden. Grin inducing.

Very cool show. Nice when tv is done with such enthusiasm. #sherlock

You could tell Hayward was gonna go. He already looks like he's played by Michael Sheen.

It's a good job they don't name whirlwinds, or jimmy white would be sh!tting himself right now.

The poo lady has really shot herself in the foot. @gillianmckeith (not Dr) #youarewhatyoutweet

*bugger* just swallowed the stone out of a plum. Not a good idea for someone like me :(

Right result in the end. As much as I like #ned, #esp were much better and only spoiling prevented them scoring earlier. #worldcup

Would love #ned to win, but #esp look really strong. Who knows in this #worldcup ?

I'd pay good money for Special Agent Oso to die in a horrific jet pack "accident".

Annoyed by the news. Time for United States of Tara.

Journalists interviewing journalists. This feels like Chris Morris.

Shame. First #ger side that i've ever liked. Come on #ned in the final. #worldcup

My God. I'm willing #ger on. What's going on? #worldcup

This could be good. First proper test for #ger. #esp playing a team that can tackle well and can hit hard on the break. Rubs hands #worldcup

Danni Minogue has named her son Ethan Edward Smith. How refreshing (I assume the father is called Smith, otherwise she's gone too far)

Switched the light off at half past ten last night. Why do I feel like sh1t?

Shocking refereeing at the end. How much added time was he adding. Arse #ned #worldcup

Cool. Dream #ned #ger final, hopefully. #worldcup

Looked offside to me, but when it's 50/50 i'd rather it went in the striker's favour. Consistency would be nice. #ned #worldcup

And another beauty! #uru #worldcup

Fantastic goal! #ned #worldcup

Ignore my previous update. It was utter bollocks. I blame @bengoldacre

Today is the day that Marty McFly travelled to when he went 25 years into the future. HT @bengoldacre (@tommcfly)

Can't picture anything but a #ned #ger final. But then I thought #bra would lift the trophy and #eng would get to the semis. #worldcup

Ok, this is just mental now. #worldcup

And the pendulum swings. #worldcup

Pen for #par. Tasty. #worldcup

Still waiting for #spn to start. #par are bossing it at the moment. #worldcup

Exhausted. Three good but very energetic kids. Mummy and Daddy time now.

Absolutely awesome display from #ger. Every position on the pitch tackling, running and passing brilliantly. #ned vs #ger final? #worldcup

#ger are playing brilliantly. Showing everyone how football should be played. #worldcup

Good on ya #ger. Just as #arg were looking really threatening. #worldcup

Glad I'm not a #ger fan. This is getting very tense. #worldcup

There appears to be a waxwork Charlize Theron in the crowd. #worldcup

#arg starting to build here. #worldcup

#ger are well on top here. Could be a corker. #worldcup

Tell you what @profbriancox has aged. #ger #worldcup

Goal for #ger. #arg defense deserve that for their dodgy hair. #worldcup

#arg vs #ger. Tough choice. No idea who i'd like to win. #worldcup

iPhone problem a display issue, not a hardware one. It's not broken, it just looks broken. *cough* bollocks.

Torn. Would like Netherlands to win, but have money riding on Brazil. #worldcup

Nice Outnumbered episode in our house earlier as cat brought in a bird and it flew around us while we ate dinner. Kids loved it.

Hurricane Alex? Didn't he play snooker?

Fantastic finale to Dr Who.

Think the #worldcup may go to a Hispanic team this year.

Thought #ned looked very comfortable there. Not sure if they'll beat their next opponents, though. #worldcup

#ned looking good. Nice to see a team with passion AND ability. Would like them to go far #worldcup

Why would you go to Wimbledon without suncream? Silly English peoples. #wimbledon

change tactics. #ger weren't even that good. #eng were just worse. #worldcup

Pretty abject. Too tentative, bad touch, unable to retain possession, too narrow, defense slow and out of position and a manager unable to...

Prince Charles is an Arse. He needs to be removed from the civil list. Meddling idiot.

Could happily watch #jpn all night #worldcup

And that was better! #worldcup

Brilliant free kick. Best of #worldcup so far.

Would prefer #jap to go through rather than #den. Much nicer style of football #worldcup

My kids have just treated us to a performance of the cbeebies summer song. Complete with air violin. Very cute.

Can't work out whether this is #wimbledon or "They shoot horses, don't they?"

And on the other channel to the #worldcup we have a fifth set that's so far at 45-44 #wimbledon

Talk about squeeky bums. It wasn't pretty but we did it. #eng #worldcup

YESSSSSSSS

C'mon England. We're doing ok, but we're better than this #worldcup

Ok. Bricking it now. C'mon England, ease my pain. #worldcup

Go Bafana Bafana. Do your nation proud. #worldcup

Father's Day pub lunch coming up. Ribeye Steak it is, then. Grunt.

Happy Father's Day to me. Must admit that I'm pretty bloody good. #fathersday

Brilliant explanation of the problem with the ball in the #worldcup by Craig Johnston.

Nice one #ned. One team that plays attractive football virtually through. Would like #jap to go through, too. #worldcup

Don't like seeing England fans booing the team. Like the team don't feel dejected enough already. Can't see what help it does. #worldcup

Did we get knocked out overnight? When I went to bed all we needed to do was beat Slovenia. #worldcup

Who reckons all this is down to jitters. We only need one win and we'll improve... just me then? #eng #worldcup

Well Wednesday is gonna knock a few years off my life. Silver lining? it's on BBC. #eng #worldcup

That's brave #eng #worldcup

Dunno why I follow England. Hate this feeling. C'mon England, please #worldcup

"I hope you had the time of your life." I did thanks.

Off to see Green Day. My clothing style for tonight will be "aren't you a little old for this?".

Can we have a major match on BBC now, please?

BBC news does Daily Mail. Windscreen wipers give you disease, ban vuvuzelas and health and safety gone mad. No immigrants story though.

The muller advert about a cow wanting to be a horse has just brought @villagepig to tears.

How could I be down about world cup when I've got Dr Who to watch.

Keep calm and carry on #eng #worldcup

Shame the vuvuzelas aren't drowning out the itv commentary.

ITV. The Iceland of broadcasting.

Right. Let's try that again.

Patrick Viera has a perfectly round head, like Karl Pilkington.

Oh dear. That was awful.

Nice one Gerrard. Bloody itv - you are shit.

C'mon England!

Judging from Twitter and Facebook it looks like we're less popular than the u.s.a. Supporting the underdog or just hating England? #worldcup

Feeling very apprehensive about the match tonight #worldcup

Even the hd is better on BBC.

Nice opening concert. Really excited about the World Cup now. Well done. #wc2010

Really like the k'naan song. What a world cup song should sound like. And it makes me think of Vampire Weekend a bit.

"Certainly was for the mouse" says Packham. #springwatch